How high is your wall?
I am quite serious about this question. Almost everyone has it, hardly anyone sees it. I am talking about the wall that you have built around yourself. The wall that you permanently - and often without even noticing it - continue to pull up. The wall of "I'll be fine," the wall of "I don't need you," and the wall behind it "I have to do this on my own because ...".
What has been lost in today's society that people feel the need for this protective wall around them?
The wall around Achilles
Often, this compartmentalization means nothing more than, "Look at me, I'm invulnerable." It is proof of a lack of trust - especially in the people around you. I saw this confirmed again just the other day during a visit to the United States. When I was visiting friends who live there, we were chatting about the differences in how American and German societies interact. "You know," my friend said, "practically every American has a psychiatrist. Because he tells what the Germans tell their friends."
We had already reached the bottom of the phenomenon: The less trust exists and is lived in a society, the higher the walls people build around themselves. Because the more they have the feeling: I have to make it on my own.
The lesson from fear
Now it is certainly exaggerated that every American has a psychiatrist, just as certainly not everyone in Germany has friends to talk to about very personal things. And I don't want to criticize "the Americans" in general for their low trust in others. On the contrary. Many Americans, precisely because of their strongly individualistic society, have mastered another form of trust quite excellently: self-confidence.
Whereas Germany is (also) strongly collectivist to this day and has learned from a harsh and fearful wartime past that people depend on each other, the majority of Americans trust in themselves. In their strengths and competencies. I do not wish to criticize either form of trust, nor will you read here that I am emphasizing one over the other. Rather, I believe that a healthy society needs both - trust in others and each individual's trust in themselves.
With confidence in the development
If we were to re-establish and live trust as a real value in today's society, we as individuals could finally stop putting up protective walls around ourselves. People would be able to deal with challenges confidently thanks to their self-confidence. At the same time, mutual trust would lay the foundation for successful dialogs.
Because if you trust in yourself, you can trust others. Without a wall. But with a lot of openness.